How to Request a Wellness Check for an Elderly Parent

You have called your mom four times since lunch. No answer, no text back, and she lives three hours away. If you are wondering whether you can ask someone to go and check on her, the answer is yes. It is called a wellness check, or welfare check, and requesting one is a normal, legitimate use of your local police.

This guide explains what a wellness check is, how to request one for an elderly parent, what to say on the call, what happens afterward, and what you can put in place so you rarely need one. If you believe your parent is in immediate danger, stop reading and call 911.

What is a wellness check?

A wellness check (also called a welfare check or safety check) is when police officers, or in some areas another local agency, go to a person's home to confirm they are safe. Family members, friends, neighbors, or doctors can request one when they are worried and can't reach the person.

Common reasons people request a wellness check on an elderly parent:

• They have not answered the phone or messages for an unusual length of time.
• They missed an appointment, a planned visit, or a regular call.
• They mentioned feeling unwell, confused, or dizzy, and then went quiet.
• There was severe weather, a power outage, or a heat wave in their area.
• A neighbor noticed newspapers piling up or lights left on or off for days.

Before calling, it is worth trying a few quick steps first. Our guide on what to do when an elderly parent is not answering the phone walks through them in order.

How to request a wellness check for an elderly parent

1. Decide if it is an emergency. If you have reason to think your parent is hurt, very ill, or in danger right now (for example, they said they fell, or you heard something alarming on a call), call 911. If you are in a different area, tell the operator your parent's full address and city; they can connect you with the right local agency.

2. If it is not an emergency, call the non-emergency line in your parent's area. This is the key detail people miss: call the police department where your parent lives, not where you live. Search for the city or county name plus "police non-emergency number." Some cities also route these requests through 311.

3. Have the details ready. Use the request tool below to put them together before you call.

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What to say when you call

Keep it calm and factual. Call takers handle these calls every day. Something like:

"I'd like to request a welfare check on my mother. She is 81 and lives alone at this address. I haven't been able to reach her since this morning, which is unusual for her."

Be ready to give:

• Your parent's full name, age, and address, including apartment number and gate or building codes.
• Why you are worried: when you last heard from them, what is unusual, and any health conditions that matter (for example, diabetes, heart problems, memory loss, or recent falls).
• A physical description and whether they use a walker or wheelchair.
• Access information: who has a key, a lockbox code, or the building manager's number. This can save a door from being forced.
• Pets in the home, so officers are not surprised by a dog.
• Your name and phone number, so they can call you back with what they find.

What police do during a wellness check

Practices vary by department, but generally an officer goes to the address, knocks, and tries to make contact. They may look for signs that someone is home, talk to neighbors, or contact a building manager or key holder. If they make contact and your parent is fine, they will usually let you know. If they find your parent needs medical help, they will call for it.

If no one answers and officers believe someone inside may be hurt, they may be able to enter, depending on local law and the circumstances. This is why giving access details up front helps.

What happens after a wellness check

The officer or call taker will usually call you back. Ask what they saw and whether your parent said anything about why they had not answered. Then:

• Call your parent yourself once you know they are okay, and talk about what happened without blame. Often it is a dead phone, a lost hearing aid, or a nap.
• If your parent was taken to the hospital, ask which one and call the hospital directly.
• Write down what happened and the date. Patterns matter, and this is useful information for their doctor.
• Fix the cause. If it was a dead phone, set up a charging spot. If it was a missed message, agree on a better daily signal.

Alternatives to a police wellness check

A police visit is the right call when you can't reach anyone else. But many families find the best plan is to rarely need one.

A neighbor or friend nearby. A neighbor who can knock on the door is often faster than police and less stressful for your parent. Exchange numbers on your next visit.

The building manager or front desk. In apartments and senior living communities, staff can often check on a resident quickly.

A key holder. One trusted person within a short drive who holds a spare key makes every other step easier. Our long distance caregiver checklist explains how to build this local network.

A daily check-in, so you know every day. With TapOkay, your parent taps I'M SAFE once a day at a time they choose. If they don't, TapOkay reminds them, then sounds an alarm on their phone, then alerts the family members they picked, with the last location attached. Instead of discovering a problem after a day of unanswered calls, you hear about a missed check-in the same day, and you can call the neighbor first. Read how it works on our reminders and alerts page, or see how families set it up on our for-families page.

TapOkay does not call police or emergency services, and it does not request wellness checks for you. It alerts the people your parent chose, so they can decide what to do next.

TapOkay alerts the people you choose. It is not a medical or emergency service.

Wellness checks outside the US

The idea is similar in other countries, but the numbers differ:

• United Kingdom: call 101 for non-emergency police, or 999 in an emergency. Police refer to these as "safe and well" or "concern for welfare" checks.
• Canada: call the non-emergency number for the local police service where your parent lives, or 911 in an emergency.
• Australia: call the Police Assistance Line on 131 444 for non-urgent matters in most states, or 000 in an emergency.

Check the local police website for the exact number in your parent's area.

A last word

Requesting a wellness check can feel like an overreaction. It is not. Police would rather check on someone who is fine than miss someone who needed help. The goal for most families is to put enough in place, people nearby and a daily signal, that a wellness check is a rare last step rather than the first thing you can do.